sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
