have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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