Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
