I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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