i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
