Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
