i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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