After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
