some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
