fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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