i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
