Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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