I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
