it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
