Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
