So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
