You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
