I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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