This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
