hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
