what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
