Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
