I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
