how do flat chested girls get laid?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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