i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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