I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
