one two three fourrrrnication!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
