i think my mom watched the whole time
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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