Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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