Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Sext me about skeletons
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
