You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
