Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
