The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
