He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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