its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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