It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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