sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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