how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
