I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
