I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
