Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize