We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
