I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
