We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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