My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
