Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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