Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
