She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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