SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i was born a porn star she said
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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