Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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