So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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